Sometimes life feels so heavy that there’s literally nothing good to notice, and it’s hard to make yourself feel something. I get it. There’s a range in what we can help ourselves to experience moment to moment, and that range can go up or down. Often it’s down on the floor. But the ongoingness of awareness itself, when we’re conscious, has a peacefulness and a spaciousness that is innate to it. So in some sense, there is always a good experience available to us. As you recognize that, wow, there’s a lot of good stuff you can simply notice. What a relief. You don’t have to do all that work of creating good experiences.
We often overlook the good stuff because our brains evolved to focus on problems and threats. But alongside that focus, most of us are having many ordinary experiences many times a day that are enjoyable or useful. So right now, a little experiment. See if you can notice something that feels basically okay or even mildly pleasant. Maybe the rhythm of your breathing. The chair, solid. Maybe you just feel kind of safe in the moment. No one’s chasing you. Nothing is urgently wrong. You don’t have to force anything big. You’re just recognizing small, real ways that things are okay.
The Night Watchman
Most of the inputs into the brain come from inside the body rather than from the world outside. And most of the time, those inner signals are like a night watchman saying all is well, because your heart’s still beating. You’re still breathing. The viscera are still working, maybe not perfectly, but still pretty good. We can become more and more aware of those internal signals that let us know you’re basically all right right now.
The same is true when you go out in the world. There’s so much to notice that’s okay. You finish a task, and it feels satisfying. Someone sends you a friendly text. You hear some music that lifts your mood. Or you plop in a chair or your bed at the end of a long day, and it’s already good right here, right now.
Not noticing the ordinary jewels right under your nose in everyday life is a lost opportunity for a legitimate moment of experiencing something good. It’s a lost opportunity for taking in that good experience as well. On the other hand, every time you notice a beneficial experience, even one that’s in the wallpaper of your mind, in the background of your being, you’re gently training your brain to rest in and appreciate and savor what’s right, not just what’s wrong. And that simple shift, again and again and again, can change the whole tone of your inner life and your outer life as well.
Below, I’ll show you how to turn a good fact into something you can feel, four places to look when nothing stands out, ways to create a good experience from scratch, and what to do when this isn’t enough.
