Learning, or change over time, is a two-step process neurologically. Two steps, only two, but people routinely forget the second one.
The first step I call activation. It’s having some kind of experience in the first place. Then there’s the second necessary step of any learning, which I call installation. Another term is internalization. It’s receiving the experience into yourself. It’s not just having the experience, it’s helping it leave a lasting trace behind in your physical brain.
Most of us are pretty okay, not always, at having some kind of beneficial experience, moments of peace, kindness, success, beauty. But then we blow right by the second step. The good moment happens and then it’s gone. Nothing sticks from it. It has no lasting value. It didn’t change us for the better in any way. We left all that money lying on the table.
That’s why we need to practice taking in the good. It’s how we help beneficial moments get recorded in the brain, turning passing states into lasting traits, good traits that you carry with you wherever you go.
That’s where the HEAL process comes in. It’s the acronym H, E, A, L.
H: Have a Beneficial Experience
The first phase of lasting learning is some kind of beneficial experience, something that’s useful or enjoyable. There are two ways to have one. You can notice one you’re already having, or you can create one.
Noticing is the main way, and it’s easy because it’s already here. Most of the time in life, all you’ve got to do is notice what’s right under your nose. We often overlook good experiences because our brains evolved to focus on problems and threats. But meanwhile, most of us are having many ordinary experiences many times a day that are enjoyable or useful. The rhythm of your breathing. The chair holding you up. A friendly text. Some music that lifts your mood. Nothing urgently wrong. I think of these as ordinary jewels strewn before us. The problem is, much of the time we don’t even notice them.
The second way is to create the experience. Recall something positive that happened in your past. Recognize something good that’s ongoing in the present, like having enough food, or people who care about you. Acknowledge some of your own good qualities. Everyone has good qualities inside, even while being a work in progress. Or use your imagination.