Are You Ruminating or Just Processing?

How to Spot the Difference (And Why It Matters for Your Mental Health)

It’s totally normal—and emotionally healthy—for us to revisit past experiences, sort through our feelings, and make sense of what’s happened. That’s part of how we heal, grow, and integrate our lives. But sometimes, that natural process of emotional digestion gets hijacked. Instead of moving through something, we get stuck. We go back to the same thought, the same memory, the same anxiety or regret… again and again and again.

One question I get asked all the time is:

How do I know if I’m ruminating, or just processing something?

It’s a really good question. Because rumination often disguises itself as helpful introspection. It can feel like we’re trying to figure something out or work through it—when really, we’re just running in circles.

So I created a short, reflective quiz (link below!) to help you check in with yourself. And to give you a quick framework, here’s a helpful breakdown of what rumination is—and what it isn’t.

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What Is Rumination?

Rumination is like mental quicksand: the more you struggle with it, the deeper it pulls you in. It’s repetitive, negative, and unproductive. You’re not exploring new ideas or gaining insight—you’re rehashing the same thoughts, feelings, or stories over and over again, without resolution or movement.

Here are some hallmark signs of problematic rumination:

• Dwelling on something repetitively, negatively, and unproductively

• An ongoing, deliberate engagement with the negative material, that you keep getting drawn back into, keeping you stuck

• Recurring and persistent worries, resentments, regrets, self-doubts

• Revisting thoughts, interactions, memories, feelings, sensations, or desires that make us feel bad

• Interfering with your ability to think about other things, be productive, or enjoy the good aspects of life

• Not generating anything new in terms of new ways of thinking, new behaviors, or new possibilities—just rehashing the same old information without any change

Examples of Problematic Rumination:

• Replaying conversations.
  You go over a social interaction again and again, criticizing yourself or imagining how others judged you.
  “I can’t believe I said that. They probably think I’m such an idiot.”

• What-if spirals.
  You imagine worst-case scenarios or obsess over things outside your control.
  “What if I fail again? What if this ruins everything?”

• Reliving past regrets.
  You beat yourself up over mistakes, big or small, wishing you could go back and do it differently.
  “If only I had made a different choice…”

• Self-criticism on loop. Your inner critic is in charge, and the voice in your head is harsh and unforgiving.
  “I always mess things up. What’s wrong with me?”

• Rehearsing unresolved arguments. You mentally relive a fight or conflict, building your case or imagining what you should have said.
  “Next time, I’m going to tell them exactly why they were wrong.”

• Obsessing over how others see you. You try to analyze every little social cue, convinced you’ve done something wrong.
  “She didn’t text back right away—did I say something weird?”

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What Is Not Rumination?

Not every repeated thought or revisit to the past is rumination. In fact, many of the things that look like rumination on the surface are actually signs of emotional processing—or just being human.

Here’s what’s not rumination:

• Positive daydreaming or fantasizing

• Reflecting or mulling things over with curiosity

• Processing complex or meaningful experiences

• Experiencing unwanted intrusive thoughts related to trauma

• Feeling the emotional waves of sorrow, regret, or anger

• Being surprised by a new emotional reaction, even after you thought you had moved on

The key difference? These experiences aren’t deliberate, repetitive mental loops. They tend to move or shift over time. Even painful feelings can be part of a healthy healing process if they’re not keeping you stuck.

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A Simple Check-In

If you’re not sure whether you’re ruminating or processing, try asking yourself:

• Am I gaining any new insight or clarity?

• Is this helping me move forward or feel more whole?

• Do I feel more open or more closed off after thinking about this?

• Have I gone over this exact same thought many times already?

• And most importantly: Does this feel like growth—or just spinning?

If it feels like spinning, it might be time to gently step away from the loop and ground yourself in the present moment. Even a small break—some movement, connection, creativity, or rest—can help disrupt the cycle and shift your state.

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Ready to Reflect?

Want a little help figuring out your patterns? I created a short, insightful quiz you can take to get more clarity on your own thought habits.